image by João Silas
Prayer takes more than it gives.
But what it gives
is of more worth than what it takes.
and this can truly
only be understood
when you realize an important truth…
Prayer doesn’t work for you, never did, and never will.
Prayer works in you.
This is truly a peculiar exchange.
I came by my confusion honestly.
There were times when I thought prayer was working for me.
What I prayed for seemed to happen, sometimes exactly, sometimes better.
I began to believe that the outcomes I was experiencing were a result of God’s pleasure over my life. But then.
Then you find yourself looking up to the heavens on the desperate end of a sentence. In those moments you may find yourself begging God to help. Desperate because the diagnosis is cancer, because the factory is closing, because your spouse is leaving, or the light is gone.
Why, when we are facing such big things
do we allow our prayers to be so small?
They are small because they lead us to believe there is only one positive outcome, and it is the one with the least discomfort.
And why are we afraid of discomfort?
Prayer has to be more than outcome.
Prayer needs to be about more than God entering space and time to alter events in our lives.
Prayer, real prayer isn’t about manipulating a specific event.
Sometimes you only realize that when you find yourself out of words.
Exhausted and desperate, some of the best prayers have happened just holding my sorrow.
I let go of belief, and the need to have the correct words,
that felt more like witchcraft anyways.
I let go of bribing,
and begging the universe.
And now I simply trust.
Trust is holding on tight enough to learn how to eventually let it go.
Letting go of me, and surrendering my will.
So prayer has changed for me, and it has changed in me. I no longer pray too often with eyes tight shut and mouth moving.
I’ve discovered that trust allows me to pray
with eyes wide and mouth shut, and heart open.
No prayer doesn’t work for me anymore. And I am pretty sure it isn’t working for you either. Perhaps it’s because it desires to do an incredible work in us.
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