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Grieving sucks.
There is no way around it, we just need to make sure we are sucking on the right end of the stick.

We try to avoid grieving at any cost.
And for the most part we do.
Thats why we don’t deal well with life.
To live is to also die, simultaneously.
To receive is to also let go.
With the same hands that we clench and hold,
we have to release and set free, for it is only with empty hands that we can receive anything new.

Jesus clearly said that those who mourn will be comforted.
Why does that sound like a cheap religious cliche?

As a pastor who helps those grieve I recognize my part in the confusion.
Greif is nothing we should be trying to avoid.
There is no way around grief, yet we think we can speed it up or skirt around it.
And this is why we don’t find the comfort we seek.

We look for comfort instead of or without mourning.
But as I am coming to understand Jesus’ words – that is why we are missing the point.

What I have come to discover is that the Path to comfort is mourning.
The way to the other side is not around but through.

Grief in all of its mystery and messiness is the way to relief.
So scream and yell, wail and cry, be silent and angry and sad.
This is the way through the valley of the shadow of death as David wrote.

As I prepare to lead a family through the loss of a loved one,
I am reminded my job is not to comfort but to grieve.
Comfort is the beautiful mystery that stands in solidarity with your sadness not in place of it.

Jesus doesn’t come after our grief,
He doesn’t say blessed are those who mourn because when they are done, I will show up.
God is all through our grief, sometimes we just don’t notice.

If your grieving.
what ever the loss.
The death of a loved one, of a dream, of your health, or of your faith.

The pain you feel is your fingers being pried open.
letting go should hurt, or you never really lived, or loved.

Open feels empty,
and empty feels sad.

The mystery is that God is trying to open our fists,
so he can hold our hand.

Share this with someone who needs to know.

Be encouraged by this poem my Daughter wrote when she was 13…“I lost my faith”

You might also enjoy “Jesus was wearing my pants at the comfort inn

or “I am not a Christian, a confessionCONFESSION